


Solitaire

by CKVdprwx



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, F/M, Scat, Sexual Content, Watersports, truffle butter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:51:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8230546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CKVdprwx/pseuds/CKVdprwx
Summary: Owen and Leah decide to have some fun with Owen's deck of cards ;)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by two of my wonderful friends when I was in a psych ward recently. Thank you Alyssa and Maggie for writing this LOVELY fic. I just plugged the French into google translate so I doubt it's going to be right. Glossary at the end for explanation of jokes but I wanted to make a dick joke so whatever.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: this is one big joke please don't take it seriously

He stood there caressing her long raven locks and but his shoulder sexually. She winked and licked her luscious lips in return. All of a sudden, Owen pulled out his deck of cards. He gave it to Leah to shuffle.

"Tu es tres belle. J'adore yeux chez toi," said Owen. (You are very beautiful. I love your eyes.)

"Merci beaucoup." (Thank you very much.)

"J'aime manger la banane à la maison." (I love to eat bananas at home.)

"Ooo la la!"

They abruptly poured on each other like pigeons in the wild. His inner pigeon cood at Leah and they began to play solitaire. Her perky ticks were in his no-no square. Owen's deck of cards got stiffer. Leah's fluffy, untamed hair poofed everywhere while she began to pose like one of those French girls.

"Let me blow your whistle baby," Leah said while crawling to Owen, kinkily biting her shoulder all the while. Leah and Owen kept playing a two-person game of solitaire.

"Swallow for daddy!" Owen yelled. Then she drank a big cup of milk. Then, Owen made a lot of truffle butter.

"Yummy," said Leah. They kept role-playing as pigeons. Owen began role-playing as a French girl pigeon and Leah moaned "Yes daddy."

Then there was a knock on the door. It was a real French girl! Owen threw on his hospital gown. The French girl taught Leah how to pose to make her butt look bigger (though Owen loved her little butt). Owen began playing solitaire because he got bored of watching Leah kinkily suck the French girl's toes. Leah began to think about an Obama and Osama bin Laden fanfic and got very moist. She pulled out an anal blunt and began to shove it up Owen's butt. They kicked out the French girl and began role-playing as Obama and Osama bin Laden. Owen gave Leah an even bigger truffle butter. Owen laid back and Leah shit in his mouth. Owen swallowed it with pride. Then they switched and Leah devoured the shit. They then peed in each other's mouths to wash it down. Owen spoke French between her legs.

"J'mappelle vagina," Owen yells. (My name is vagina.)

"It's never to late for the shocker," he added as he inserts his yaoi fingers into her fluffy love mounds #1 and 2 and her booty donut hole. Leah smiled as she fingers her bootylicious ass crack.

"Remember my pube sock?" Leah asks. She pulls her pube sock sexily onto her fluffy love mound #3 (her right leg). Owen moans and pulls out some long hairs from her butt crack.

"Oh my bajesus!" Owen remembers, "I forgot, you need to give me a Prince Albert!"

Leah pulls out a safety pin from her booty hole and pushes it through his dick and clips the safety pin shut. Owen gives Leah the wink sandwich and began to nut right into Leah's hand. Leah smears it across her body and returns the wink sandwich.

Linda, the head nurse for the day shift, walks in with her floppy breasts leading the way and says, "Good things cum to those who wait!"

And she winks, making Owen nut even more.

 

THE END!

**Author's Note:**

> DIC(K)TIONARY  
> solitaire=masturbation  
> deck (of cards)=dick  
> pigeons in the wild=pigeons who had sex on the roof where everyone could see  
> anal blunt=weed that you light in your butt  
> Obama/Osama bin Laden fan fic=actual fic that's on wattpad (https://www.wattpad.com/story/15832165-obasama)  
> fluffy love mounds=#1 and 2 are the labia, #3 and 4 are unshaved legs  
> booty donut hole=asshole  
> pube sock=sock which I found a pube in while wearing them  
> wink sandwich=where you stare at someone, wink one eye, squint, then lick your lips *~sexily~* (it looks awful)


End file.
